Connoisseur Of The Absurd T-Shirts

Boutique Gasolines

The Unusual Baker

"Hello, national security agency? Send me all you have on Walter J. Conklin."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"He was a sea rescue."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Now you can send it."

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

Salvador Dali's cats.

'... But, wouldn't that be kind of like, cannibalism?'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

UFO and snowman

Baseball.

Operation.

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

"My bouche was not amused."

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

The Mafia Goes Green.

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

The Bonvoy Age...

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

Trapeze artists commuting

''Tough crowd in tonight!''