Lover Of The Absurd T-Shirts

'How's your infinity project going?'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Do you think it would help if all the voices in my head came together and formed their own light opera company?"

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Book ratings.

"That was one strange and confusing competition."

Shark Surfing the Waves.

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.

Last Smokes

'It serves eight.'

'Don't you think it's time you started going out with girls , Bruce ?'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'I still don't believe any of that bunk your friend was giving us about hypnosis.'

Man in Body Cast with Wine

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'

The naked conductor.

Trampoline under Lover's Leap sign.

101 uses of a dead cat: prison

Disproportionate objects next 5 miles.

"The reports were right. . . he's using 'tools'."

"Oh, yeah. I can see it now, John...just a little bit of chicken gristle caught right here..."

A Heated Argument

Man on stilts gets a black eye.

Car towing boat driving over bridge. Boat towing car riding under bridge.

UFO and snowman

'It's a see-though nightie that magnifies.'

Henry was startled by a sudden tap on the shoulder.

Out of order tightrope.

Urinal Danger.

"I'm fairly sure you're supposed to take them off first."

Bridge Opens for a Paper Boat

'For crying out loud! Someone hit the reset button!'

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

"Dr. Rheinschreiber never does an appendectomy without music and dancing."

"Hey, sorry to call you guys this late on a weeknight, but I just happened to be in your basement."