Royal Guards Gifts

"Technically, I'm guarding two posts."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

The Bearskin Hat Family

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

'I'm a guard dog too.'

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

Beefeater

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Medieval King

My horse for a kingdom.

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.

Catherine the Great with her daughter Nora Soso

Sabrage

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

"You rang, m'lord?"

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

Limbo Day at the Palace

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

Bashful Royal Guard

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

The Height of Impudence.

'...perhaps it is rather tempting fate.'

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

"Not yet, wait until he faints."

A guardsman is embarrassed when the wind reveals his bearskin hat is doubling as a 'comb over'.

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

"Consititutionally there's no bar to marriage. I'm C. of E."