Palace Guard Gifts

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

'I'm a guard dog too.'

Soldier.

"Post traumatic stress disorder."

Beefeater

Beefeater

Grenadiers

"He likes it."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

The Bearskin Hat Family

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Madoff and devil.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

Freedom Book.

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'Are you free at the moment?'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

Exposed and imprisoned.

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

When staffing agencies screw up.