Park Guard Gifts

'What about all this rubbish you've left lying around?' '

Bitchbark Canoe

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

Piracy on a boating lake

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

How about going easy on the carbs

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

Even for a mountain goat he's good.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

Danger Falling Leaves

"Ma'am! Stop spoiling the birds!"

Malfunctioning geyser

'Break glass in case of tangled antlers.'

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

Psychiatry in the Park

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'