Royal Attendant Gifts

"Talk to your wife, Tuttlebottom. She refuses to sleep with me!"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

The Unhappy King

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

The Bearskin Hat Family

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Royal Love

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

Reign Man

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."