Royal Attendant Gifts

"Talk to your wife, Tuttlebottom. She refuses to sleep with me!"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

The Bearskin Hat Family

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

The Unhappy King

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Royal Love

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'Nobody treats the king that way and gets away with it.'

Reign Man

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."