Royal Courtier Gifts

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Knight Golfing

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"It is we."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

The Frog Prince

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

Princess Anne

The Unhappy King

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Jester Surgeon

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

Royal Love

"Nevermore."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"First of all, I would like to express my gratefulness to all those wonderful ancestors of mine who helped to make this glorious day possible."

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'