Royal Courtier Gifts

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Knight Golfing

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"It is we."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

The Frog Prince

Princess Anne

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

Jester Surgeon

The Unhappy King

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Royal Love

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Nevermore."

"First of all, I would like to express my gratefulness to all those wonderful ancestors of mine who helped to make this glorious day possible."

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.