Royal Fan Gifts

"I just bought another country - it's cheaper on the net."

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

Reign Man

"What sort of Mall is this anyway"

London Gin Company Limited - By Appointment to Queen Mother

'He threw his back out trying to lift an embargo.'

Beefeater

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

TV jester.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'The King of what?'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

Royal Love

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

King and Jester

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.