Royal Court Fan Gifts

'The King made me head of personnel!'

"I suppose you're like me, only signed up for the free uniform."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

TV jester.

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

The Unhappy King

'The King of what?'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

King and Jester

Royal Love

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"One blackbird pizza?"

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Nobody treats the king that way and gets away with it.'