Royal Court Fan T-Shirts

'The King made me head of personnel!'

"I suppose you're like me, only signed up for the free uniform."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

TV jester.

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

The Unhappy King

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'The King of what?'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

King and Jester

Royal Love

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

Reign Man

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"One blackbird pizza?"