Royal Fans Gifts

'Red bubble wrap - I like it!'

"Security was too tight to try and nick one of those Harry Potter books so we went and crashed Prince William's 21st instead."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

TV jester.

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

The Unhappy King

'The King of what?'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

King and Jester

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

Royal Love

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'Nobody treats the king that way and gets away with it.'

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'