Royal Fans Pillows

'Red bubble wrap - I like it!'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

TV jester.

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

The Unhappy King

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'The King of what?'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Royal Love

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

King and Jester

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."