Royal Advisor Gifts

'Liberty, equality, and fraternity, eh? ? What's in it for me?'

I thought we'd let the committee decide... What committee?

'Well somebody should have checked!'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

'Ally of the bride, or ally of the groom?'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'I'm running unopposed in the election, but just for fun let's run nasty, negative campaign anyway.'

'Nepotism may not be perfect, but it's the best system anybody's come up with so far.'

'Okay, you were right -- beanbag thrones are a dumb idea.'

'A whoopee cushion! — I'll bet Karl Rove is behind this somewhere!'

'Safety says you need to find a new way to give promotions.'

'Just be patient, will you? — our compuer is down.'

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Friend or foe?"

'I wish he'd stop asking me about his credibility rating -- I HATE lying to him!'

'I showed your petition to the King — he decided to keep you and let me go.'

"I told you 'Attila' wasn't a girl's name."

"What - my own fortune teller?! Well, that was predictable..."

"He's the King of the Jungle but I'm the power behind the throne."

"It's from Henry VIII, sire. He's going to be in town and wants to know where the best hook-up spots are."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Do you have an appointment?'

The King In The Rain.

'Off with their headlines!'

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

'Your father was forced into a runoff, so he ran off.'

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

'I wish he'd stop asking me about his credibility rating -- I HATE lying to him!'

'The good news, Sire, is that the famine is over...'

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

"Just keep 'em coming - Whenever he sobers up, we have another WAR."

Reign Man

"Due to the financial state of the kingdom were turning the castle into a Bed & Breakfast & Ransom."

"You might try avuncular."

"It is we."