Royal Strategist Gifts

King completes rubik's cube.

'I sent out for everything.'

The president's men

Reagacentennial

"What was I thinking?!"

Israel/Palestine Conflict

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

Tariff Wars

"It is we."

'How about a game of cards?'

The Greek Trampoline

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

Trump Will Protect Obama's Legacy

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

"Why won't you cuddle?"

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

We Used to Build Things

"It's not who you know, it's how you use them."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

Stephen Harper Soliliquizes

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

Impotent Democracy

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."