Round Table Diner Gifts

"It was a good idea, sire. . . but I move that we consider going back to meeting at a round table."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Countervailing Clichés.

'How is the water prepared?'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

"Linguini for two?"

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'You made me jump,'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

Did you slice this beef? You nearly missed.

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

'All right, I agree with you.'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

Cafe offers corn several ways.

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

'It's my idea of a seven course meal... a hot dog and a six-pack of beer!'