Roughage Devotee Gifts

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"They're comfortable."

"Static cling."

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Dog with Anchor Lead

'I'm sorry about the slippers...but I do need the roghage.'

Twitter that!

"Whoa! Was that today?"

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'Oh Elias! It's simply the cutest bear rug I ever did see!'

What your guitar says about you.

"I'll walk, you shovel."

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Great news! They just bought a new rug we can throw up on!"

At the CD shop.

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

Elvis' autopsy

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Parents compare buggies

Beer versus Wine

Lionel Hampton and Chuck Berry

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

'Stroke! ... Stroke! ... Stroke!'

"Mr. Wakefield and Bowser? Or Bowser and Mr. Wakefield?"

Central Valley Express

"We must be in the Village."

This Sportsman is 'Playing Through the Green'.

'Boy, Mommie, I'm sure glad you're not a working mother.'

'Yes, it's a six hour commute, but where else could we have this standard of living?'