Romantic Underdog Pillows

'I don't know if you remember me, Audrey, but my name is Axel, and we met at a party last week....What do I look like? Well, I have a prominent nose and I'm on the short side...I'm also a wolverine.'

"Baldo...I...I don't know what to say."

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

Stop the big guy!

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

'Love what you've done with your hair.'

Published but unread poet.

Proposal on a snowboard

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

'He looks promising!'... 'So far he hasn't made any.'

"I think she really like me. She held my hand almost as long as she held her phone."

'Listen, I like you and everything, but your dad is way too scary...'

Pets: 'Chick magnet.'

Lion Toupee

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

Speed Dating

"The blind date went well and we've agreed to meet again on Saturday night, but by golly, he's hard to understand: he's a Yorkshire Terrier. . ."

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

"When you're finished not looking at here, can you divert your non-attention to me?"