Romantic Underdog Pillows

'I don't know if you remember me, Audrey, but my name is Axel, and we met at a party last week....What do I look like? Well, I have a prominent nose and I'm on the short side...I'm also a wolverine.'

"Baldo...I...I don't know what to say."

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Stop the big guy!

Published but unread poet.

'Love what you've done with your hair.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

Proposal on a snowboard

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

"I think she really like me. She held my hand almost as long as she held her phone."

Lion Toupee

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

'Listen, I like you and everything, but your dad is way too scary...'

Pets: 'Chick magnet.'

'He looks promising!'... 'So far he hasn't made any.'

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Speed Dating

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

"When you're finished not looking at here, can you divert your non-attention to me?"

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'