Romantic Challenger Pillows

"Don't let vending cheapen the moment."

'He's gone off me-he had a FULL tank!'

"I'm dating a 50-year-old woman! I need prescriptions for erectile dysfunction drugs and medical marijuana."

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Couple

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Millionaire trapped in the body of a bum. Please help correct the situation. ?

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

"I feel proud of the success I've made, thanks for all your support."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Solitude is so much better if you have someone to share it with."

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

A man forming a heart symbol with his hands

'Love what you've done with your hair.'

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

"I'm feeling generous."

Lion Toupee

'He looks promising!'... 'So far he hasn't made any.'

Pets: 'Chick magnet.'

"The orgasms were real. But I faked the kids."

'Listen, I like you and everything, but your dad is way too scary...'

"I think she really like me. She held my hand almost as long as she held her phone."

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

Speed Dating

'Could this mean that we're finally profitable?'

Unreliable Narrator