Romantic Challenger Pillows

"Don't let vending cheapen the moment."

'He's gone off me-he had a FULL tank!'

"I'm dating a 50-year-old woman! I need prescriptions for erectile dysfunction drugs and medical marijuana."

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Couple

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

"I feel proud of the success I've made, thanks for all your support."

"Solitude is so much better if you have someone to share it with."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

A man forming a heart symbol with his hands

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

'Love what you've done with your hair.'

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

'Listen, I like you and everything, but your dad is way too scary...'

"The orgasms were real. But I faked the kids."

'He looks promising!'... 'So far he hasn't made any.'

"I think she really like me. She held my hand almost as long as she held her phone."

Pets: 'Chick magnet.'

Lion Toupee

"I'm feeling generous."

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

Speed Dating

'Could this mean that we're finally profitable?'

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"