Romantic Competitors Pillows

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Tension filled the tent.

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

"Am I through to the next round?"

Workplace Shinanigans

"Of course I love you more than I ove football -- You were my first-round draft pick!"

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Office Competitions

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

'What a control freak!'

Hat Wars.

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

"Solitude is so much better if you have someone to share it with."

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

"I quit."

Played Wordle Fair and Square

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

'I won a prize for being the school swot. I killed more flies than anyone else.'

' Love and pole vault'

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

"I don't get it. If he's no faster than me, how come he always beats me?"

Obedience School Spelling Bee

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

'What is it about 'Please, Dad, I beg of you' that you don't understand? FYI, my best friend Amanda's dad didn't chicken out.'

I've just found out our competitors are losing money faster than we are.

'And it's a photo finish!'

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

Floyd Landis: I would have preferred a good bottle of whiskey.

A competitive rower thinking 'Crap'.

"That's the best and worst pole vault I've ever seen."

"When you're finished not looking at here, can you divert your non-attention to me?"

"And in an amazing development today, Oxford has failed to qualify for the boat race."