Romantic Rival Humorist Pillows

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

'Man...You age great!'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Always Compatible