Romantic Rival Humorist T-Shirts

You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? I met this really awesome lady. I think about her daily. And I know she's thinking about me. But she told me she's also thinking about some other guy. What's the best way to not mind her thinking about him, while still enjoying the thought that she's thinking about me? You'll be fine if you think to yourself the other guy is nothing but a fleeting thought she's thinking of. You think?

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

'Man...You age great!'

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

Tunnel of Like.

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Always Compatible

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation