Romantic Comedian Pillows

'So, apparently, saying it with cactus is not the best way to tell your wife you love her!'

"I lied when I told you I shave my head."

"Will your client marry my client?"

'This will do, she never listens to me anyway!'

'Why do I have the felling that your parents don't trust me?'

And do you, Sue, believe this is the best you can do? / It was a simple ceremony. Perhaps a little too simple.

'Have you ever noticed how much your mole looks like a check engine light?'

"She's giving me the look that says no - but I know its yes."

I brought a little ice breaker.'

Woman asking if man loves her, and asking for a diamond, Man fishes around in pockets and pulls out a pack of cards

"It's a bit late to find out we're not in the same 'bubble'."

'I'd like to meet a girl--', 'Oh, a homophobe, eh?'

"Edna had promised Lloyd a lap dance for his birthday. Unfortunately it was at the same time her favorite talk show."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

'Check your inbox.'

"I was a lovebird dear but now I'm a foolaroundbird."

"Oh darling... you take me to the most wonderful places...!!"

'My wife needs a bra, but I don't know the size. . . That reminds me, she needs panties too.'

"This is my new waterbed!"

'I don't mind the odd bite from him - but LOVE bites?'

'How much would you take off for cash?'

Banana

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

'I can't be your Valentine right now, but I'll put your name on a waiting list.'

'I'll marry you, but I'm not interested in a long-term relationship.'

'We have been together for 22 years. Not bad for a $5 personal ad.'

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

'Unfortunately, very few people ever take a chicken out for a meal.'

'Why can't you take a performance enhancing drug like other athletes?'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

We met online.

'I wish I'd gotten to know you sooner. I'd have bought much cheaper wine.'

'You forgot our anniversary, but you remember his birthday?'

'On the other hand, if you include my little dog, 'toughy', you just might have a deal.'

I thought I'd put in a couple of love affairs to brighten it up.