Romantic Hopeful Pillows

Single malt whisky bottle reading lonely hearts column.

The Story of Oh

'Kim, you can't leave me!!'

Speed Dating

"Most of all I love your vulnerability."

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

'Forget it dude. She's way out of your tank.'

'Will you marry me?'

'She won't even go out with me. How can I get her to marry me?'

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

"Wow! She's hot!"

Gymnastic Scores.

'Bring me a nice bottle of something that'll impress the lady, for under a fiver.'

I know how you always have trouble buying me a Valentine gift.

'You're sweet, Rodney -- I'll put you on my short list.'

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"Not on a first date! That's fine by me, I've been on lots of dates."

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

"So how do I meet him? I can't just say hello."

Another severe strikeout for Steve.

"I noticed you looking at me."

'Oh to hear those three little words.' -'Scram, you creep.'

Pets: 'Chick magnet.'

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

'I reckon a laundrette's a good place to pick up a woman.'

Do you know what girls want?

'You must be Spam?..'

Night School

'She's the loan officer at the bank.'

'They couldn't exactly get me a date, but they offered me a job as a practice dummy.'

'We really don't have anybody appropriate for you right now -- why don't you try the Low Self-Esteem Club?'

"You looked bigger online!"

"I was told by the dating agency that you`ve got letters after your name!"

It had been ten years since she kicked him out, but now that he was returning as a business owner, he hoped things would be different.

'Any hot prospects on the horizon, Cathy?. . . Anyone new within a three-foot radius who's vaguely tolerable?'