Dating Hopeful Pillows

"There's nothing coming up for tall, dark and handsome. How about medium, balding and warty?"

Preparing for Dating Opportunities in 2020

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'Love what you've done with your hair.'

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

"Bill and I hate the same books."

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

'Sorry, no roles for you yet, Madam Caterpillar,'

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

You are going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger...bringing your post.

'Barely an love and already arguing.'

Palm tree in love...

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

"You weren't playing hard to get! You were scared of commitment!"

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

Lion Toupee

Pets: 'Chick magnet.'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'He looks promising!'... 'So far he hasn't made any.'

"I think she really like me. She held my hand almost as long as she held her phone."

'Listen, I like you and everything, but your dad is way too scary...'

'Were you playing footsie with me?'

Speed Dating

'...all been inspired by the Olympics...now touch those toes...touch those...'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

"So how was your date with Smiley?"