Romantic Philosophers Gifts

'My outer self loves your inner self but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"Sorry, I'm just looking for something with no strings attached right now."

"I'm looking for someone who is tall, dark, and handsome but I prepared to substitute rich for any of those qualities."

Life is for the birds.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Reginald Bunthorne

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

When two philosophers date. So

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"Now that was post-modern sex."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

Brian the dog#3 - Brian now realised he was NOT man's best friend.

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

Romans.

Intellectual Foreplay...

'Do you, John, accept a married tax allowance with Sandra ?'

'When love is color Blind.'

"If you could time-travel back to any period in history, would your love for me keep you from going?"

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

The Inn Keeper's Wife and Daughter taking care of the Don after being beaten and bruised.

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.