Romanticists Gifts

"Health and safety considerations require that you put rubber tips on the arrow heads and replace the unicorns tears in your love potion with saline."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Life is for the birds.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Right click for yes...

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"We'll always have Paris..."

Scientists are sexy

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Reginald Bunthorne

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

Dancing in pyjamas

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

Marriage least expected to last...

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

When two philosophers date. So

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

A Zircon Is Forever

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"My computer just texted me."

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

'You mustn't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, Dear. It makes me feel redundant.'

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.