Romantic Theorist Gifts

'That's very sweet of you, Professor Grossmertz, but love is only a theory.'

Life is for the birds.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Carbon Dating.

Dating an English Major

Reginald Bunthorne

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"I know what you're thinking - all I am to you is a vector."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

Romans.

Intellectual Foreplay...

'Wine? Okay. I really don't care what you call it; let's invite over the two sisters from the cave next door.'

The Inn Keeper's Wife and Daughter taking care of the Don after being beaten and bruised.

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'Stop quoting from films and get on with it.'

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'Young Love'

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"The best place to make black hole discoveries is in the bedroom."

"The great thing about a science background is I can understand what you're experiencing in biochemical terms."

"You're right. This is better than sex."

"It says we should try to imagine we are in love."