Modern Romance Philosopher Gifts

"Baby it's cold outside..."

Right click for yes...

Online Dating

When two philosophers date. So

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"You may now kiss the bride."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Throw in your iPad and you've got a deal.'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"If you could time-travel back to any period in history, would your love for me keep you from going?"

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

Lance, do I make you want to be a better man? Let me put it this way, Gloria: you definitely make me want to SEEM to be a better man.

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

Tunnel of love, then disillusionment, then mundane humdrum coexistence.

"He's all mine. Life is good."

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

Cherub tries to prevent a man from declaring his love for a woman.

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'