Modern Romance Critic Gifts

"Really, Bob? You sent a drone to break up with me?!"

"It's over." "I'm outta here." "It's not you, it's me."

"Then it's settled. We're signing you up on 'Bitchfinder.com', like, immediately."

'Love? You're talking about LOVE?? Barry - you're here just because I'm too busy to keep a dog!'

Sex for money

"Where did you and mummy meet?"

Right click for yes...

Dating an English Major

Online Dating

"You may now kiss the bride."

This action stuff is okay, but try a romance or comedy next time.

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

Wow. Worst Tunnel of Love ever.

"It's a miracle the miners could even find a diamond this small."

Effective Catcalls

"And he's caring and honest and gentle..." "I'd do her."

'May the groom kiss the bride?'

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"Speed daters! Say hi within the hour!"

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"So - we meet at last."

"But it's supposed to be recreational sex, not guilt sex."

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

"I googled you and I'm not interested."

"What a nice old tree! Let’s carve a heart with our initials in it." "Oh, yes, how romantic! Wound an innocent life-form you know nothing about. God, I hate people."

"I thought it might speed up the dating process."

"Do you think she's just playing 'hard to get'?"

'This Valentine's, Ted and I are just giving each other more space.'

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"I just can't be with someone who's never been digitized."

"So, Rapunzel, I see you're still playing the field."

"Baby it's cold outside..."

"I'm not really a handsome prince. I just fancied a good snog."

'I undertand they met on line.'