Modern Romance Critic Gifts

"Really, Bob? You sent a drone to break up with me?!"

"It's over." "I'm outta here." "It's not you, it's me."

"Then it's settled. We're signing you up on 'Bitchfinder.com', like, immediately."

'Love? You're talking about LOVE?? Barry - you're here just because I'm too busy to keep a dog!'

Sex for money

Right click for yes...

Dating an English Major

Online Dating

"You may now kiss the bride."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

Effective Catcalls

"And he's caring and honest and gentle..." "I'd do her."

"Speed daters! Say hi within the hour!"

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

'May the groom kiss the bride?'

"So - we meet at last."

"But it's supposed to be recreational sex, not guilt sex."

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

"I googled you and I'm not interested."

"I thought it might speed up the dating process."

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

"Do you think she's just playing 'hard to get'?"

"What a nice old tree! Let’s carve a heart with our initials in it." "Oh, yes, how romantic! Wound an innocent life-form you know nothing about. God, I hate people."

'This Valentine's, Ted and I are just giving each other more space.'

"I just can't be with someone who's never been digitized."

"Baby it's cold outside..."

"I'm not really a handsome prince. I just fancied a good snog."

'I undertand they met on line.'

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"Forget the glass slipper thing. I've just installed the Tinderella app."

"I married you for your money, Leonard. Where is it?"

Speed Dating and Speed Dumping

Have we had sex yet?"

"Would you like to see a picture of me before the operation?"