Romantic Critic Gifts

"What a nice old tree! Let’s carve a heart with our initials in it." "Oh, yes, how romantic! Wound an innocent life-form you know nothing about. God, I hate people."

Dating an English Major

"It's a miracle the miners could even find a diamond this small."

"You know I'm pre-loved."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

First Novels.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Thomas Mann.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Now I really hate poetry."

Blue Stockings

Why we need poetry. . .

German Expressionist Breakfast

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Shakespeare was bisexual

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"Oh, this old thing?"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

The Proust of Twitter

George Orwell

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

The World's Biggest Book Club

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Günter Grass

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."