Contemporary Romance Critic Gifts

'This Valentine's, Ted and I are just giving each other more space.'

Dating an English Major

Online Dating

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you to turn my problem into something way worse that happened to you."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"...as they may share in our joy.", "For we are all as one."

Effective Catcalls

"Speed daters! Say hi within the hour!"

"A guy can fall in love with a smile, then make the mistake of marrying the whole girl."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

'May the groom kiss the bride?'

"And he's caring and honest and gentle..." "I'd do her."

"So - we meet at last."

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

"But it's supposed to be recreational sex, not guilt sex."

"Do you think she's just playing 'hard to get'?"

'Love? You're talking about LOVE?? Barry - you're here just because I'm too busy to keep a dog!'

"What a nice old tree! Let’s carve a heart with our initials in it." "Oh, yes, how romantic! Wound an innocent life-form you know nothing about. God, I hate people."

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

A man smoking a post-coital cigarette sees a woman leaving a note in a suggestions box.

'It's full of all sorts of complex exclusions and 'get out' clauses.'

Relationship problems.

"I'm not really a handsome prince. I just fancied a good snog."

'I undertand they met on line.'

"Baby it's cold outside..."

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"I married you for your money, Leonard. Where is it?"

"Dude, I thought you liked horror movies."