Modern Romance Philosopher Pillows

"Baby it's cold outside..."

Right click for yes...

Online Dating

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"You may now kiss the bride."

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"If you could time-travel back to any period in history, would your love for me keep you from going?"

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.'

'She loves me, she loves me not. Maybe, who cares, what the hey!'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"He's all mine. Life is good."

'Our love life has become market-driven.'