Romantic Novelist Gifts

'First it was cave painting, now it's chick lit.'

Is there someone else, Francine? Let me get the phone before I answer that.

"I thought you liked romantic fiction."

Writers wait in their area of expertise.

VALENTINES: Stuck Like Glue

"He had everything: money, looks, personality, loving wife, beautiful kids..."

'I hope our new work coach is really hands on.'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Victor Hugo

The DaVinci Code

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Jean-Paul Sartre

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

Honoré de Balzac

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

John Bunyan

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"So the white whale was really just a metaphor for your mother's lack of affection?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Sue the Author 3PM

Trilby - 'Je prong!'