Romance Misadventure Fan Gifts

"... It's just that when you said you'd got us a date with a pair of sisters... "

Romance

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"When you promised me a lift home...."

Husband and wife come out of Tunnel of Love, and man is fishing

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'Sorry about that, Miss Delsey. I guess the boat wasn't sinking after all.'

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

'First time skiing?'

"This guy has no idea what he's doing."

The Adventures of Morton

'It's very nice to meet you, but I prefer to remain anonymous.'

I told you I lost it in the sun.

She's a little too friendly.

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'

'I hate these romance cruises.'

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

Bad Medieval first dates.

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

"Not tonight, dear. I have a head injury."

"I'll kiss him after the flies are under control."

"Can't you do ANYTHING right?"

"I know pain, Jessica. I've had my ear pierced."

'first it was bankruptcy,then I totaled my four-wheeler,then my marriage.Now the magic has gone out of casting.'

"Sure, I can tattoo her name there...man, you must really hate your ex-wife!"

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'