Mythical Misadventure Fan Gifts

The Gods breathed life into the wrong one.

Swiss army knife

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

Hot Tub Frosty

Sometimes it's easy to see if a swamp creature is on vacation.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'Are we here-there-be yet?'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

Wotan with eye patch

Mermaid reads sleeping tourists book.

At the end of the rainbow

'Look Dad - bigfoot!'

Parisian Misguided Tours.

"Omnipotent?! I thought you said impotent. And you're out of wished, too."

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'Sorry about that, Miss Delsey. I guess the boat wasn't sinking after all.'

'Well, there went Atlantis -- I told You not to use low bidder!'

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

Phoenix

"I'd like to see you cut back to eating only two, three ships a day."

'First time skiing?'

'What do you think of as you great achievements?'

'I'm afraid it's the weather!'

'Oh, hey, relax, I'm not here to take you! I've outsourced all that work long ago. I'm now strictly on the administrative end.'

'I met your father on a fairytale weekend in Yosemite. It was love at first sighting.'

Catch of the day

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

"Great interview! and your credentials are impeccable, there's just one last thing..."

'The instruments are suggesting that the heat pump is receiving a temperature of 105...what could possibly be heating the ground that much?'

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

'Why do I always get un-friended? I'm a nice troll.'

Painting into a corner.

Mermaid Environmentalist

'Next...Our guest expert claims stocks tend to rise due to gravitational forces of a full moon...'