Romantic Misadventure Fan Gifts

Am I the first guy you've invited back to your appartment?

Marvin never got booty calls, just boob calls.

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"When you promised me a lift home...."

Husband and wife come out of Tunnel of Love, and man is fishing

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'Sorry about that, Miss Delsey. I guess the boat wasn't sinking after all.'

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

I told you I lost it in the sun.

'It's very nice to meet you, but I prefer to remain anonymous.'

"This guy has no idea what he's doing."

The Adventures of Morton

'First time skiing?'

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'

She's a little too friendly.

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

'I hate these romance cruises.'

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

Bad Medieval first dates.

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

"Not tonight, dear. I have a head injury."

'Darling,there's a man here who claims that you're having an affair with his wife...I'm sending him in now.'

'Well, I heard he was a player.'

"Sure, I can tattoo her name there...man, you must really hate your ex-wife!"

'It's a hi-tech romantic thriller...she e-mails him, he e-mails her, they meet, she gets nabbed for online solicitation of a minor.'

"Can't you do ANYTHING right?"