Romantic Misadventure Fan Gifts

Am I the first guy you've invited back to your appartment?

Marvin never got booty calls, just boob calls.

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

Husband and wife come out of Tunnel of Love, and man is fishing

"When you promised me a lift home...."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'Sorry about that, Miss Delsey. I guess the boat wasn't sinking after all.'

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

The Adventures of Morton

"This guy has no idea what he's doing."

'It's very nice to meet you, but I prefer to remain anonymous.'

'First time skiing?'

She's a little too friendly.

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

'I hate these romance cruises.'

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

Bad Medieval first dates.

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

"Not tonight, dear. I have a head injury."

'Darling,there's a man here who claims that you're having an affair with his wife...I'm sending him in now.'

"I know pain, Jessica. I've had my ear pierced."

A hunter shoots what he thinks is a bird, but turns out to be a big 'm'.

'That shark took Bob right out of the boat! Now I'll never get the $50 he owes me.'

"Can't you do ANYTHING right?"

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

'It's a hi-tech romantic thriller...she e-mails him, he e-mails her, they meet, she gets nabbed for online solicitation of a minor.'