Romantic Misadventurer Gifts

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

"It was supposed to be 'John loves Lisa.' "

"I know pain, Jessica. I've had my ear pierced."

"They ran out of bouquets."

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"I admit I'm surprised, but it does explain why your online dating profile lists 'Royal Navy' as a pet peeve."

'Ugh...I hate phone solicitors.'

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

'Well, I heard he was a player.'

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

speed dating - "Hello, goodbye."

Hairy Eddie's big time guide to kissin' loads a chicks.

"Sure, I can tattoo her name there...man, you must really hate your ex-wife!"

Shepherd and eurydice

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Asking out a palm reader.

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Advanced footsie

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

Barman In Love.

"For a normal sunset say 'one', for a romantic sunset say 'two', but first please give us your credit card details."

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

"Over here, Carol! I've found one with a caramel center!"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation