Romantic Misadventures Gifts

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"Flûte! Encore raté!"

"Are you positive he's the one who talked about himself all night and never once asked about you?"

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

Lucy watched with embarrassment as her date returned from the toilet,unaware that he had the washroom attendant stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

'We've just learned how to talk and the first thing they say is 'No'.'

'Sorry dad, you misunderstood me. I said that my Tracy WORKED the city, not IN the city...'

'I had a lovely time and I'd love to see you again, here's my business card with my fake email, mobile and twitter.'

Husband and wife come out of Tunnel of Love, and man is fishing

Colin began to suspect that his date was interested in someone else

The Adventures of Morton

'That's it? I pour my heart out and all you can say is 'aargh'?'

"When you promised me a lift home...."

"Can't you do ANYTHING right?"

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

Six arms, no waiting.

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

'Not now, Lord!'

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

Fourplay.

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'