Love Misadventurers Gifts

Cupid's Arrow Misses, and Dog Falls In Love with a Man's Leg.

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

'I wanted something special...not another candlelight dinner!'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

Roller Coaster of Love

Husband and wife come out of Tunnel of Love, and man is fishing

"When you promised me a lift home...."

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

7 Dwarves of Valentines Day

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

Tough Love 2000

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

The Adventures of Morton

"Rayna, will you be my girlfriend?"

"This guy has no idea what he's doing."

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

She's a little too friendly.

Sex shop

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

'Believe me -- there's nothing worse than a clingy Klingon!'

Chaplain Speedo: speed dating, express marriage, quick counseling, overnight divorce. Drive Thru.

'I hate these romance cruises.'

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

"Dear, you're being replaced by a machine."

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."