Rogue Readers Gifts

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

Letters escape from a caged book.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"I know. But I think I can change him."

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

Multitasking

Hell's Schlegel

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

Man reading in lamp

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

"Your morbid curiosity about the afterlife is scaring the children."

Castaway reading a magazine from a bottle

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

'I self-published a book on how to be successful. It forced me into bankruptcy.'

The Early Bird

Thriller of the Week

A spider drops down from the ceiling to read a man's book on flies.

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

"Reading YA is passe. We're into picture books."

"I like subtitles. I can watch the movie, skip the book, and not feel guilty."

"So now you're reading a book?"

'Every week a sum of money the size of this rainforest disappears to service the UK's national debt.'

Mouse pushes the mousetrap in the cats way

Woman reading 'Dark Satanic Mills and Boon' novel

'Did your husband have any enemies?'

Jack the Tripper

'He's not having an affair Ma'am: He goes out at night mainly to chase cars and eat from garbage bins...'