Ironic Readers Gifts

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

'Don't tell me you read that rubbish?'

Horror movies

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"The only hobby we tolerate is working on weekends."

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Creating dummy corporations for dummies.

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'Let's get a kitty.'

Library: Self-Help Books and Blame a 'Rigged' Political System.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"We like to think of ourselves as a very progressive company. After all, a little self-delusion never hurt anyone."

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Et tu, Killbot 9000?"

'You mean to tell me not one of us can write the word HELP legibly?'

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

D. H. Lawrence

Forbidden Vegetable

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"All that praying for snow finally paid off."

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Amnesiacs Convention.

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

"I'm going to use Aversion Therapy. Get better or pay me $300 an hour."