Rock Climbing Jokester Gifts

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

Cow Blue Arrows

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

I fart more than that!

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"Must get a longer cable."

"I hate this time of year."

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'I'm pretty sure this thing wasn't a @$#%& health hazard when I was drying my underwear on it!'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

"My husband is fishing. . ."

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

"It's improv night."

'Do you feel the burn?', 'Yes -- in fact, I think my pancreas is scorched.'

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

The wife made it. Why?

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"