Camping Jokester Gifts

"I hate crowded parks."

'I owe you an apology. Your sign actually worked.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

I fart more than that!

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"Must get a longer cable."

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"I hate this time of year."

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"My husband is fishing. . ."

Excess Baggage: If your vacation plans include 'Getting Back to Nature' be careful what you wish for.

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

"My wife is always on to me about eating more vegetarians."

"Jeez, Honey, will you hurry up in there? I've been hibernating all winter, too, y'know!"

'No, I'm his cousin, Sasquash.'

"And then, after they were done with their bodies, they baked them at 350 degrees for an hour."

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

The biggest fish.

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

The wife made it. Why?

'Your turn to go for water. . .'

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.