Robot Appreciator Pillows

"He's one of my favourites. You feed him milk and cookies and he gives you a present."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

The Book Lover

Robot Painter

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"Shouldn't have, you really."

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

Employee of the Month

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

"My kid could do that."

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

Really? You're hiring me back to replace the robot you just replaced me with? I've had a change of heart, minion. It may be cheaper to automate my café. But it dawned on me that robots don't buy very many drinks. Plus, as much as I try to let the bottom line guide me, I am, deep down, a very compassionate man. I couldn't bear the thought of you being poor and miserable. Maybe he's not such a bad man. Plus, one accidental incineration of a customer and the authorities get all weird about it.

"Sure, he has artificial intelligence, but it's his artificial empathy that won me over."

Old-fashioned computer

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

"Who's the new guy?"

Robot Office Tasks

Cat with Crown.

"Look, I'm doing the human!"

'I am not a robot.'

Now hiring. You seem very motivated. It's my internal drive!

"My 'check engine' light came on."

"Someday our robots will have all our anxieties for us."

'That must be my computer date.'

"They're talking about birdhouses again. Time to send them birdhouse ads."

'It's a hybrid.'

'You'll like this, sir. Instead of the usual boring bio, this year I've done your creation myth.'

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

"I have designed us new, steam-powered space suits."