Road Safety Renegade Gifts

Bike lane.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

'Your Grounded!'

Tractor Racing

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

Attention: Speed Troughs

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

'All these new regulations will totally alter the way we screw the consumer.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

How Am I Driving?

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'Deer and Game Crossing'.

'But this IS my mobile home!'

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

"Are you telling me you won't even ask the computerized navigational system for directions?"

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

Solar Storm Expected!

First fisherman says, 'What happens if the DNR finds us?' Other replies, 'Let's just hope they're into catch and release.'

What if animals made roadside memorials?

"The soft, flexible, extendible bumper gently nudges the cyclist safely out of harm's way."

'No zebras as yet. . .but we have had two school kids and a lollipop lady!'

'Quick, turn the siren on!'

"Your businessman's lunch, sir - But you need to sign this compliance self-audit checklist first.

He suspected the driver's airbag was not functioning correctly.

'Remember...No hexing and driving!'

'The cows are out and are not expected back.'

"I hate to disappoint you son, but those giant craters you see isn't the moon, it's our street."