Road Safety Crusader Gifts

He takes snitching on car drivers to another level…

'Damn cyclists - they're everywhere.'

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Dog Crossing

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'Your Grounded!'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Is this what they call inherent safety?

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

Safe driver.

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Attention: Speed Troughs

Deer crossing the road on a Skidoo.

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

'This is a phone poll! Are you in favor of a ban to drive and use a cell phone at the same time?'

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

How Am I Driving?

Safety last.

The Cab of Guilt - "This is your mother, reminding you that if you don't buckle up I will kill myself."

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

How you can tell that the environmentalists won the elections...

"The soft, flexible, extendible bumper gently nudges the cyclist safely out of harm's way."

What if animals made roadside memorials?

'No zebras as yet. . .but we have had two school kids and a lollipop lady!'

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

'Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...'

'Quick, turn the siren on!'

Watch for Pedestrians.