Road Safety Crusader Gifts

He takes snitching on car drivers to another level…

'Damn cyclists - they're everywhere.'

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Dog Crossing

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'Your Grounded!'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Is this what they call inherent safety?

Knights Wing Mirrors.

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Safe driver.

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

Attention: Speed Troughs

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Gas Pedal Sticking?

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

Deer crossing the road on a Skidoo.

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

How Am I Driving?

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

'This is a phone poll! Are you in favor of a ban to drive and use a cell phone at the same time?'

Safety last.

The Cab of Guilt - "This is your mother, reminding you that if you don't buckle up I will kill myself."

What if animals made roadside memorials?

"There! Caught another idiot using his phone whilst driving."

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

How you can tell that the environmentalists won the elections...

"The soft, flexible, extendible bumper gently nudges the cyclist safely out of harm's way."

'No zebras as yet. . .but we have had two school kids and a lollipop lady!'

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

'Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...'