Advocate For Safe Driving Gifts

"...and please let Grandma and Grandpa get home safely... even if Grandpa is too stubborn to admit he's had too much to drink!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Dog Crossing

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Boozing and Cruising

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."