Driving Safety Advocates Gifts

'I warned him. 'Don't text and drive' ... He wouldn't listen.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Boozing and Cruising

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."