Automobile Safety Advocate Gifts

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

Boozing and Cruising

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty