Automobile Safety Expert Gifts

Man with Air Bag,"Did you know the earth spins at 1038 mph?"

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

"It helps prevent side collisions."

Gas Pedal Sticking?

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

"Seat belts unfastened? Excellent."

A 'failed' brake check!

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

"Right I've checked everything 6 times. Surely nothing can go wrong this time."

Crash Test Dummy Denied Insurance.

My doctor advised me to start walking more.

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"

Piano Airbag

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'

Where airbags should be.

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

"You're going on a very short journey."

"You know what's about to happen and you still got in the car. But yet I'm called the dummy."